she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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