She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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