I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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