I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
