omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
