YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
