He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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