We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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