I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
