What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
