please come you make the beer taste better
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
