I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
