Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
