Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
