the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
