grandma shit on top of the toilet
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
