I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
