I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
