At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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