Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
