im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
