Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
