Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
