What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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