He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
