Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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