Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
