Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
