I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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