I hate your face
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
