what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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