do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
