just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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