Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
