Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You don't make any sense
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