Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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