we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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