Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
