Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
