He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
