How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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