"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
