Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
