this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
