Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The best revenge is premature balding
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
