Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
