Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
