I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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