Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i drank out of a bidet.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
