you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
