Don't make out with my wife yet
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
