if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
