I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
