the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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