it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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