there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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