I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
