THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
