I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
where are my eyebrows?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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