whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
