He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
